The elephant in the room: graduation anxieties

      The day is almost here that the seniors have been working towards for 13 years…graduation. On May 30 the class of 2012 will walk across the stage at E.J. Thomas Hall and shake the principals’ hands, receive their diplomas and start the first day of the rest of their lives. Well, that’s the plan anyway.

     Unfortunately, there’s a whole host of things that could and probably will go wrong before we can get to that point.       

     Let’s start with the root of all the problems: I could drive to China and back, and the ceremony would still be going on. Okay, that might be a slight exaggeration. But either way, my recommendation is take your iPods, cell phones, heck bring out the coloring books! Anything to keep your mind from turning to mush. We may have completed high school, but most of us still have college, work and life ahead of us, and that brain may just come in handy for one of those things. 

      I don’t know about you, but besides the possibility of my brain turning to mush, the long ceremony causes a whole list of other anxieties. First of all, we’re seated in alphabetical order right? Well, this means that you know who you’re sitting next to ahead of time, and if that person is your frenemy, things could get preeetttyyy awkward. For example, I have to sit next to my brother of all people…can you say obnoxious? 

     Apart from what the students will be doing during the painfully long ceremony, there’s still plenty of other things to keep your eyes open for at graduation.  Like the girls that decide to wear the highest, brightest and most uncomfortable shoes money can buy in hopes of “standing out” on stage. The thought of wearing the same robe as every other girl is unbearable, I know. Thus, wearing heels so high you’ll fall on stage makes perfect sense. Of course, I shouldn’t be talking because I’ll be wearing flats, and my face will probably still meet the stage in front of everyone as I fall. So no judgment here. 

     And although the guys don’t have the worry of what dress to wear, how to do their hair and what shoes look best, they do have one very important task: picking out the right cigar. For girls it’s as simple as “mine’s peach!” but this doesn’t seem to be the case for male classmates. Give them a break, this stuff is important too. 

     And last but not least, the curse that comes down on us all is something commonly known as “graduation goggles.” You know what I’m talking about, that moment at prom or graduation when the people you’ve avoided for one reason or another over the past four years suddenly become your close friends. You seem to overlook their flaws in your final moments together, just long enough to say, “I’m going to miss you so much! Good luck next year!” only to realize moments later that you have no idea what you just said or why you said it. It’s a terrifying moment, but it happens to us all. 

     In the end, graduation will come and go just like every other event in our high school careers. Probably not as fast as most of us would like, but hey, if you’ve got your cell phones out to keep your mind from turning to mush, you can always dial your best friend during the ceremony and hope his isn’t on silent. I’m sure everyone would get a kick out of that. 

     And maybe it’s just my graduation goggles talking, but I’d like to say sayonara, Hudson High. I cannot explain how much I’ve enjoyed writing the Elephant for you these past few years. I hope you’ve enjoyed it just as much as I have. 

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2012-05-17 10:02:52

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